You're Gonna Miss Me So Bad
by Dasiygirl95
Summary: Daryl's thought's as he carries Beth out of the hospital. Bethyl R&R


**I'm not sure where this little one shot came from, I was in a slightly depressed mood yesterday, so I guess that's what inspired this...**

**It's depressing, and sad, and I kinda hate myself for writing it, but it just kinda flowed outta me...Who knows if it actually makes any sense, but eh, whatevers.**

**Also, not sure if this will stay a one shot, or if I'll add to it later on...I guess we'll just have to wait and see :) **

**Enjoy**

**...**

Blood.

Everywhere.

So much blood.

_Her _blood.

Soaking the fabric of his shirt, staining his skin bright red, seeping into his soul and staining that too.

Staining once bright blonde hair a sickening pink, running down the smooth curve of her neck to pool in the dips of her collarbones, smeared across now pale lips.

_So. Much. Blood. _

He's sobbing, doesn't realize it at first until his chest starts to throb and he felt wetness on his cheeks; blue eyes starring at the center of Rick's back as he leads them out of the hospital.

She's cradled in his arms, pale and lifeless, her head lulling against his shoulder.

It made him think of the funeral home; when she had been full of life, her smile wide, and her eyes bright and blue and sparkling. Sparkling at _him _of all things.

Made him think of when he'd held her in his arms all those days ago, her arms looped around his neck as she giggled in his ear, grinning as he swung them into the kitchen.

Made him think of dinners by candle light and soft _Oh's _whispered in the flickering light.

If he hadn't chickened out, if he hadn't gone to that damn door, if he'd of _checked _ before swinging that damn door open; like he didn't have a care in the whole goddamn world, she would still be here.

Would still be alive.

Its Daryl's fault Beth is dead.

He knows it; knows the rest of the group does to. Not that they'd ever admit it.

It was his job to protect her, and he'd gone and screwed it up. He killed her. And nothing he ever did would change that.

If he wasn't such a damn pussy, if he would have just opened his damn mouth and told her; if he'd just told her that he loved her, gotten it out in the open instead of forcing it down and running away, Beth would still be here.

Beth, with her 1000 watt smiles, her big bright blue eyes, her blonde hair, and her ability to care about anyone. God, she did. She cared about everyone, even if they treated her like shit.

Most importantly, she cared about _him_.

And Daryl cared about her_, loved her_.

He'd never get the chance to tell her.

The sound of Maggie's screams just made the throbbing in his chest increase double time, his knees beginning to shake as he kept moving, cradling Beth to his chest; her blood soaking him to his core. Staining his soul the deepest shade of red, one that he knew would never fade, no matter how much time passed.

He swallowed against the lump forming in his throat, risking a glance down at Beth's limp form, and immediately regretting it.

He didn't want to remember her this way; limp, and pale, and lifeless. _Dead_.

He wanted to remember her alive, and happy; wanted to remember her smiles, the way she scrunched up her nose when she laughed, the way her eyes sparkled when she looked at him. How she'd always keep close to his side on nights where they slept outside, stealing the warmth from his body, her head tucked against his shoulder and her legs drawl up to her chest.

Wanted to remember the way her eyes immediately searched him out if he wandered out of sight, even if it was just for a moment, blue eyes sweeping over his form to check for injuries.

And the soft sound of his name falling from her lips as she slept; her soft, pink lips curling into a smile as she pressed closer to him; letting his warmth seep into her bones.

And the sweet scent of her hair, and the softness of her skin.

How free and happy she was after they set that damn shack on fire.

How she made him believe that are still good people left in the world.

Wanted to remember that soft _Oh_ spilling from her pink lips as she looked into his eyes, her sparkling blue eyes filled with nothing but warmth and, dare he hope, _love_.

He wanted to remember everything about her, afraid that one day he would wake up and forget it all now that she wasn't there to remind him.

Now that she'd _never _there to remind him.

God, how he wished he could go back in time and change what happened that night. He would have told her he loved her, maybe even kissed her if she felt the same way.

Most importantly, he would have protected her with his life; would have stopped these bastards from taking her, from _killing her_.

Beth was his whole world, the one person he could say he truly cared about,

And now she's gone…

Daryl isn't sure how much longer he can go on without her.


End file.
